You Get What You Need

You know what? Sometimes life is super hard. Sometimes I feel like life is like hitting a pinata. We're blindfolded, dizzy and just trying to hit the bajeebers out of the giant deformed Dora made of paper machet and filled with candy! Often times we find ourselves feeling like we are swinging aimlessly because we cannot see what we're swinging at. I believe that when we feel this way, it is because we do not understand that God has a plan for us individually or trust in that plan. President McKee demonstrated this perfeclty when he showed us this illustration:

We don't see the big picture, but Heavenly Father sure does. We need to learn to trust in His plan. Heavenly Father has found many ways to help me understand that He has a plan for me even though I don't have a clear vision of what that plan is a lot of the time. My mission has been a HUGE way that He has taught me this.....

About 3 years ago, after coming back to church, I was stuck in a part of my life where I had all of this ambition and motivation to do something great with my life but I couldn't figure out what exactly that was. I prayed for months about whether I should go back to school, go do a program abroad get married and etc etc. It wasn't until one day in the temple that I received the strong prompting that I needed to serve a mission. I was SO excited at first because it just made perfect sense. Then as a little time went by, I began to worry about the timing. I was only 24 but I had a hard time trusting that I would have time to go to school and get married and have a family if I went and served for 18 months. (I know it sounds ridiculous now!)

Even with those worries, I still felt like I needed to go so I went forward and put my papers in February 13th 2012. My Bishop called me that day to tell me that they were in and I shouted for joy but then I had a funny feeling that I shouldn't get too excited. Everyone in my family and circle of friends was ecstatic and I even made a poster board of everyone's guesses of where I would serve. Well a few weeks went by and nothing came in the mail. I received a call in March from the Stake secretary telling me that my stake president needed to meet with me. In that moment, I knew what was coming but I knew that Heavenly Father had prepared me for it. I had to wait over a week to meet with President Wilkinson and every day killed me because I just wanted to hear him say what I already knew. Well, the next Sunday rolled around and I found myself sitting in his office around noon. He told me that the mission headquarters had sent him a letter asking him to share the news with me in a kind and loving way but he decided to just read their letter to me instead, which I really appreciated. My heart began to ache as he read, telling me that they didn't feel comfortable giving me a call at that time because of some silly things I had done in my past but that if I remained faithful and valiant, I could resubmit my papers in 6 months. I handled it surprisingly well and kind of just felt a little too okay with it as I shook his hand goodbye afterwards and walked back to my car. I remember driving home and just sitting in my house alone trying to process everything. I promised myself and my Heavenly Father that I would do everything I could in the next 6 months to remain worthy to go. But, as the days passed and I thought more about it, I started to feel upset and angry with what had happened.

If I was already worried about timing then, imagine how nervous I was with 6 more months added to that! There was one day in particular that I was really feeling sorry for myself and I was upset with Heavenly Father. Didn't He know that I didn't have time to waste?! Didn't He know that I needed to go on a mission at that specific time if I was going to be able to fit everything else into my life? As I was swallowed up in those selfish thoughts, a song came on the radio that completely changed my perspective. The Rolling Stones sweetly told me....

No, you can't always get what you want

No, you can't always get what you want

No, you can't always get what you want

But if you try sometime, you just might find
You get what you need

Nothing else could have spoken to my heart more clearer than this song! I finally realized that I wasn't always going to get what I want and when I want it, but I would ALWAYS get what I need. Heavenly Father knows us, He knows what will ultimately make us happy and He will ALWAYS give us what we need to make us happy in the long run, not just for a moment. Those extra 6 months I had to prepare ended up being some of the most amazing and important 6 months of my life. That summer, I met some of my bestest best best friends and I also successfully started to pursue my dream of selling vintage dresses. I was able to have more time with the family I was nannying for and with my own family as well. Most of all, I learned some really important things that I needed to learn to be better prepared for my mission.

I finally received my call to the Tennessee Nashville Mission on November 9th and it was one of the happiest days of my life. I reported to the MTC January 16th 2013. When I look back on these incredible 18 months of my mission, I KNOW that this is the exact time I needed to be here. I needed to be serving at this specific time for my companions, areas, missionaries I've served with and my mission presidents. Most of all, I was supposed to be here for the people I was able to serve and share the gospel with. These people have completely changed my life and I will never forget the sacred experiences I have had with each and every one of them. I know I would have missed out on a lot of these experiences if I had left 6 months earlier.

 

My mission has meant EVERYTHING to me, every single second and I completely trust and believe that God has even more great things planned for me after this. I know a lot of hard things are going to come my way but that's okay because I know that I can get through anything and that all can be made right through Jesus Christ.

 

When we can understand that our life is waaaaay bigger than our little perspective, we are more at peace with everything and we will find more JOY. We must trust God more and His plan and His timing for us. If you ever find yourself feeling like things aren't going the way you hoped they would, just remember that with God,you're not always going to get what you want BUT you'll always get what you need! I testify that God loves us, we are His children and He will always take care of His children.

In A Letter Home...

So one of the MANY blessings I have received from my mission is being introduced to the Nashville Tribute Band! I absolutely love their music and am grateful for the time they have taken to write and compose songs that truly bring the Spirit into our hearts. There's a song by them called "A Letter Home" that has a special place in my heart. Some of the word are:

In a letter home you saved me
How'd you know that I just wasn't right?
You gave me the words to break free
From thousands of miles, you saved my life
In a letter home...

The first time I heard this song, I was serving in Paducah Ky with my companion Hermana Ihler and I cried like a baby. The words of the song rang so true to my own personal experience that I actually thought, "I don't remember writing this song!" I would like to share my own sacred story of how some one's mission and their letter home to me completely changed my life......

As I've mentioned in previous blogs, I was raised in the church but fell away in my youth and spent many years living outside of the gospel. During this whole time, my little brother was preparing to serve a mission throughout his youth by staying true to his baptismal covenants, striving to remain a worthy Aaronic Priesthood holder, getting his Eagle Scout and always finding someone to serve. Sure he had his crazy moments like getting caught throwing oranges at cars or accidentally getting accused of grand theft auto, but he always had his sights on doing what was right. He was the one in my family who knew the most of the messes I was getting myself into but he always showed me nothing but charity as he loved me but also would kindly tell me that I was better than the things I was doing. He has always been more of a big brother to me than a little one.

In the fall of 2010, the same time my brother received his call to serve in the Villahermosa Mexico mission, I felt a pull to come back to church, to start praying and reading my scriptures again. Something about my brother leaving us for 2 years for something he believed, really got me thinking and it was one of the reasons I began to come back. Right before my brother left in February 2011 is when I finally met with my Bishop and got back on the right path. The week my brother was set apart and ready to report to the MTC, we had a moment alone and I shared with him how I had seen my Bishop and was really trying to change. I'll never forget what he shared with me after he shared his love and support, he asked if I was taking the sacrament and when I said no, he told me that it should be the most important thing that I do at that time. I never really saw the sacrament as something important at that point in my testimony and will be forever grateful for my brother who gave me that guidance so that I could have that desire to make that a priority. The month after he left is when I was found worthy again to partake of the sacrament and it was such an incredible and monumental moment in my life.

That's when things began to be really really hard. Coming back to church was the hardest thing I have ever done because the adversary was doing everything he possibly could to keep me from staying on the right path. I had many nights when I would just cry and cry because all I wanted to do was pick up the phone and call my brother to hear his loving encouragement. There was one week in particular, when my brother was finishing his time in the MTC that I REALLY needed to hear from him. I begged my mom to mention it to him in his emails and would call her everyday to tell her that I had received nothing in the mail from him. He promised me that he had written me but everyday when I would run to check the mail after work, my heart drop when I didn't have anything addressed from him. There was one day in particular that I was struggling to the point that when I checked my mailbox once again to find nothing, I collapsed on the floor in my apartment and began to cry my eyes out. It was in that moment that I had the thought to check my junk mail. I quickly disregarded it, telling myself that there is NO way I would have misplaced his letter in the junk mail pile. I had that thought come again and decided that it wouldn't hurt to check, I was desperate at this point. When I began to flip through the coupons and fake checks for $5,000, my heart jumped out of my chest when I saw his handwriting on a white envelope. I know that Heavenly Father saved it for me to read at that exact moment. That letter completely changed my life.

I had written my brother previously that I was searching for my purpose at that time and what I needed to do, I added that I was considering doing WOOF and going to Iceland to work on an organic farm there. The respond from my brother completely changed how I was seeing things.

He started his letter off by sharing with me that he had fasted and prayed for me on his PDay and went into the temple seeking guidance from our Heavenly Father on my behalf. Just this alone melted my heart- the fact that instead of fasting and praying for himself or for his companion or for the people he would soon be teaching, that he was fasting for me. It caused me to truly feel the love of my Savior. He continued his words with boldness as he shared with me the answer that he received, "To be frank Haley, Heavenly Father does not need you in some random place in the world picking fruit, He has greater plans for you than that. He has need of you in a different vineyard." He shared a scripture that he was guided to in the temple that morning in D&C 75:2-3 that reads: " Hearken, O ye who have given your names to go forth to proclaim my gospel, and to prune my vineyard. Behold, I say unto you that it is my will that you should go forth and not tarry, neither be idle but labor with your might." He very lovingly told me that The Lord needed my help in His vineyard and that my testimony, that I was still developing, needed to be shared with others. At that moment, I didn't completely understand what that meant but I felt like through my loving brother, I received the guidance and peace I needed.

It wasn't until a few months later as I was sitting in the temple that I understood perfectly what Heavenly Father tried to tell me through my brother's letter. I received the clearest revelation that I have ever received that The Lord needed me and was asking me to serve a mission. I immediately thought of my brother's words and how Heavenly Father had prepared me to receive this call. I'll never forget the joy I felt when I was able to email my brother and tell him of my decision to serve and his enthusiastic reply back. I'll never forget him writing, "Why didn't we think of this sooner??!" After making the decision to serve, I ran into a lot of obstacles and a lot of bumps in the road and my brother's emails always gave me the strength to persevere and continue in this "great cause."

I know with all of my heart and soul, that my brother's service and sacrifice to Jesus Christ blessed and changed my life. I know that every faithful missionary brings their families blessings whether or not they may see them right away. Through a letter home, and many many emails, my brother and his mission saved me and kept me going on my path back to my Savior.

This is the day that I said goodbye to my brother as we dropped him off at the MTC February 16th of 2011, not knowing that we would be saying goodbye for more than two years.

I entered the MTC January 16th of 2013 to serve in the Tennessee Nashville Mission (SP) and my first week in the mission field was my brother's last one in Mexico. It's been really hard not seeing him for 3 1/2 years and knowing that I won't see him until Christmas because the little punk leaves to go back to BYU Hawaii 5 days before I return home! It already breaks my heart to know that when I step off the plane next week, I won't see his face, but, I look forward to the day when we meet again and experience a similar joy that Alma and his brethren felt as they were reunited...

"And it came to pass that as Ammon was going forth into the land, that he and his brethren met Alma, over in the place of which has been spoken; and behold, this was a joyful meeting.
Now the joy of Ammon was so great even that he was full; yea, he was swallowed up in the joy of his God, even to the exhausting of his strength; and he fell again to the earth.
Now was not this exceeding joy? Behold, this is joy which none receiveth save it be the truly penitent and humble seeker of happiness." Alma 27:16-18

I testify that the Savior loves each and every one of us. How grateful I will forever be for His example of service to us and our Father as He came here to suffer for our sins and overcome death. I am grateful for His "letter" to us that can be found in the scriptures, words of His modern day prophets and through the gentle and loving feelings of the Spirit. One cannot look at His divine mission and say that missions don't change lives. Surely, His changed our lives and our destinies forever.

 

 

The Fab Four

So, let's be real right now, I absolutely love the Beatles. I am actually quite obsessed with all of the music they have made. I could never describe the way I feel when I hear one of their songs come on the radio- my heart skips a beat! Each of their albums holds a different memory and place in my heart from different times and phases of my life. I could go on forever about my love for them but there's something that I love more- more than the Beatles you ask? Yes, and it is the gospel of Jesus Christ! The gospel is something that has completely changed my life. Follow along with me as I compare the two...

The Beatles were made up of 4 extremely talented and magical individuals:
-George Harrison

-Paul McCartney

-John Lennon
-Ringo Starr

Now, the Beatles had an incredible run of amazing music, movies and tours but after a good amount of time they ended up splitting up, went their different ways and did some wonderful things on their own. Although Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey and Imagine are incredible songs, I think most Beatles fans would agree that none of their solo projects could compare to the music that they made when they worked together.  It is the same with the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is made up of 4 main principles and we need ALL of them!

What exactly is the gospel of Jesus Christ?

"The gospel of Jesus Christ is our Heavenly Father’s plan for the happiness and salvation of His children." To me, the gospel of Jesus Christ is the way back to our Heavenly Father. The gospel is composed of all of the things we must understand, live and do to receive the gift of eternal life.

 

The 4 main principles in the gospel of Jesus Christ are:

-Faith

-Repentance

-Baptism and the Gift of the Holy Ghost

-Enduring to the End

Let's go over each principle to better understand the need for each one, shall we?

When you hear the word faith, what does it mean to you?

In the Book of Mormon we read:

 

 "Faith is things which are hoped for and not seen." Ether 12:6

"And now as I said concerning faith—faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true."Alma 32:21

 

So faith is something that we hope for and cannot see BUT know is true. Faith in Jesus Christ, to me, is having a perfect hope and knowledge that He is my Savior even though I cannot physically see Him at this time. This faith has been a product of studying the scriptures, praying and living according to this belief. 

 



 

Repentance is a product of our faith in Jesus Christ.

So what exactly is repentance?

"To repent we need to recognize and feel sorry for what we’ve done wrong, do whatever is possible to repair the damage it may have caused, and to leave our sinful behavior behind. Repentance can be difficult and requires a lot of honesty, but the joy and freedom we feel when we turn away from our sins are well worth the effort. Because Christ suffered for our sins, we can be forgiven when we repent."*

 

I want to testify that repentance is one of the greatest blessings that God could ever give us. Through repentance I have been freed from my guilt and sorrows and have been able to put my past behind me and leave it there. Repentance has allowed me to start over new, everyday, and become a better person. Repentance is the key to allowing Christ to change our hearts and our lives.

 

Faith leads to repentance which then leads to baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost. I have put these two together because one is not complete without the other!

 

"Baptism is a promise or covenant we make to follow Jesus Christ throughout our lives. When we develop faith in Him and repent of our sins, a person who has God’s authority to baptize immerses us in water and raises us back up.

Jesus was baptized when He was on earth. He has asked us to follow His example and to be baptized (see 2 Nephi 31:12). He has promised that if we follow His example and keep the promises we make when we’re baptized, we will have His Spirit to guide us through this life."*

 

Baptism is the first gate that we enter onto the straight and narrow path back to God. It shows Heavenly Father that we accept Jesus Christ as our Savior and we promise Him that we will do all that we can to keep the commandments and live in harmony with His teachings.

 

After we are baptized we receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

 

"After we are "born of water," or baptized, we can be "born […] of the Spirit" by receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost. A person with God's authority puts his hands on our heads and gives us the gift of the Holy Ghost (Acts 8:17). The Holy Ghost is a Spirit. He is the third member of the Godhead, along with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. When we receive the gift of the Holy Ghost and walk humbly before God, He can always be with us. We call it a gift because the Holy Ghost is given to us from God to guide us as we face difficult decisions, comfort us when we are sad, influence our minds and feelings, and help us recognize when something is true."*

 

 The gift of the Holy Ghost is something that I am forever grateful for. I know that it is a gift that God wants for each and every one of His children because it brings us peace, guidance, comfort and His influence into our lives.

 

 

When one has developed faith in Jesus Christ, repented, was baptized and received the gift of the Holy Ghost, have they reached the end of their path to God? No! They must endure to the end!
The gospel of Jesus Christ is a life long pursuit.

 

In the Book of Mormon, the ancient prophet Nephi expounds on this:

 "And now, my beloved brethren, after ye have gotten into this strait and narrow path, I would ask if all is done? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; for ye have not come thus far save it were by the word of Christ with unshaken faith in him, relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save.

 Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life."

 

 

 

I want to testify that we cannot live by one or two of these principles, we need to live by all of them! John, George, Ringo and Paul needed each other to make incredible music as the Beatles, and we need each of these principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ to return to God and live with Him forever. I can promise that living by these principles will bring you true and everlasting happiness and peace!

*Click Here To Learn More 

I Can Go The Distance

As much as I have been trying not to think about it, the sad reality is that I am nearing the end of my mission. I'm at a point where I am near the end but I also still have some time left to do a lot of good. I have been thinking a bit about the finish line and how I can keep persevring and enduring until "the end."


So what exactly does it mean to persevere? In the April 2014 Ensign, a magazine from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Claudio D. Zivic shares this definition of the word:


“To persevere means to maintain the ability to endure, to carry on, to continue in the same state without weakening or perishing. It is being able to go on in the face of pain, oppression, discouragement or suffering without being defeated.”


When I think of this definition, I can't help but think of one of my Disney heroes- Hercules! Pretty much everyone alive on this planet has seen this movie and knows the story:

Hercules is the son of the god Zeus. Hades, a really bad guy, is threatened by Hercules and conspires to have him killed but things didn't go as he planned and baby Hercules didn't end up dying, but being found by a sweet humble mortal couple who raises him. Hercules spends his childhood being the town klutz because he has too much physical strengh for his own good! Well, when the time is right, his real father Zeus lets him know what's up and he begins his quest to become the hero that he was destined to be. His father gives him a trainer, Phil, and a flying horse, Pegasus, to help him along the way. Hercules faces a lot of trials and temptations, but he uses all of those experiences to push forward and be all he can be when everything depends on him and how he uses his strength. He ends up becoming the hero he was destined to be despite his weaknesses and set backs and makes it back into the arms of his loving father Zeus once again.

I often think of that moment when he returns to his father and how much joy they must have both felt through Hercule's perseverance. When it all come down to it, that's what life is all about. We lived with our Heavenly Father before this life, and we are here to learn and to grow, to gain experiences, and to endure through the hard things so we can become stronger and learn how to use our strengths. It's all about doing whatever we can in this life to return to our Father. There is nothing more that He wants than to see our faces once again and to have us in His arms. There is nothing more that we should want as well.

The gospel of Jesus Christ, restored through the prophet Joseph Smith, is the path back to our Heavenly Father. Through faith in Jesus Christ, repentance, and the ordinances of baptism and confirmation, we are given the tools necessary to keep on keeping on! Once we get on this path, it's all about continuing in our faith, reading our scriptures and praying everyday, partaking of the sacrament and staying worthy to enter into the Lord's temple. Just like Hercules had help, Jesus Christ will always help us stay on that straight and narrow path.

Now, with that being said, no Hercules post would be complete without including the lyrics to it's epic theme song. This song has always helped me remember what this life is all about....


I have often dreamed of a far off place

Where a great warm welcome will be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying this is where I'm meant to be

I will find my way I can go the distance
I'll be there someday if I can be strong
I know every mile will be worth my while
I would go most anywhere to feel like I belong
I am on my way I can go the distance
I don't care how far somehow I'll be strong
I know every mile will be worth my while
I would go most everywhere to find where I belong

Down an unknown road to embrace my fate
Though that road may wander it will lead me to you
And a thousand years would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime but somehow I'll see it through

And I won't look back I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track, no I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope but I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance and my journey is complete

But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart

Like a shooting star I will go the distance
I will search the world I will face its harms
I don't care how far I can go the distance
Till I find my hero's welcome
Waiting in your arms...

I often think of that glorious day when I can look into my Heavenly Father's eyes and tell Him that I did all that I could to return to Him. When we focus on the end and where we want to be again, nothing can hold us back from presevering and moving forward to our hero's welcome. Nothing can keep us from returning to the arms of our Heavenly Father.

What Kind of Follower are You?

For some reason, being a "follower" has a negative or uncool reputation. No one wants to be a follwer but when it really comes down to it, we are all followers! What really matters in this world is who or what are we following. That is something that will define who we are and our character.

So, take a good hard look at yourself and think about who or what are you following? What kind of follower are you?

Are you a follower of the world?
Are you a follower of the latest fashion trends?
Are you a follower of our society's stars and celebrities?
Are you a follower of what is acceptable or cool at school or in the work place?

Or are you a follower of Jesus Christ?
Are you a follower of those that believe in Him?
Are you a follower of the latest revelations through modern day prophets?
Are you a follower of what is acceptable and true in the sight of God?

Elder Russel M. Nelson recently said:

 "We might each ask ourselves, where is our faith? Is it in a team? Is it in a brand? Is it in a celebrity? Even the best teams can fail. Celebrities can fade. There is only One in whom your faith is always safe, and that is in the Lord Jesus Christ."

We cannot afford to put our trust in things of the world. Things and people of the world fade. When we choose to follow celebrities or sports teams, our character is hollow. There is no solid foundation in who we are. Following those things only brings us temporary and shallow self worth or confidnce. We fall far below who we can be and become.

I know that when we choose to follow Jesus Christ, we become more than followers. We become "an example of the believers." We become examples of what is true, what is pure and what is good. We become examples of living in a way that will truly bring us happiness. Our character is filled with Christlike attributes like charity, compassion, patience, virtue and hope. We become people of eternal worth- not just worldy, temporary worth.

I have chosen to follow things of this world so many times in the past. I have found nothing but temporary and shallow happiness and never found inner strength or a love for myself in those things. I can testify that as I have focused my attention and desires on following Jesus Christ, I have become a person of value and a person that I am proud to be.

So, what kind of follower are you?

Dear teenage H. Knight, everything is going to be alright....

Dearest littlest H. Knight,
           This is your future self at the age of 26 and you have been on my mind a lot lately. I know you're going through a lot right now. I know that every day seems like the end of the world. I know that you don't think very much of yourself-you don't think you're as pretty or as smart as the other girls. I know that you don't feel like you have any direction in your life. I know that a lot of your "friends" are constantly finding ways to put you down. I know that you feel like you're parents are always against you. I know that you don't feel like there isn't a soul in the world that understands what you're going through. I know that you always feel so alone. I know that you feel completely hopeless right now but there is something you NEED to know.....

Everything is going to be okay! Every thing is going to be alright! I promise! I know that you get super down on yourself sometimes and I know that sometimes you even think about just making everything go away by taking your life, but if you did that, you would not be able to see all of the incredible things that are in your future! Here's the thing, you are still going to go through some really hard things. As soon as you've overcome one trial, another one will be thrown in your lap. You might ask, then how is everything going to be alright? Where is the hope in that? Well, let me tell you....          

 You are going to understand your relationship with God and Jesus Christ...and it's going to change your life! You are going to finally understand that you are truly a daughter of God, and that you are so important!! You are so loved!! Through your Savior, Jesus Christ, you are going to be able to overcome so many hard things with a lot of tears and with a lot of laughing. You are going realize that you have a super power! Not like your favorite super hero Spider-Man....sorry. You have the gift of the Holy Ghost. The best super power ever! The Holy Ghost will be your comforter Haley. It is going to help you feel loved by your Heavenly Father EVERYDAY. It is going to testify to your heart that Jesus Christ knows exactly what you are going through in every moment of your life. You will never have to feel alone again.

 

I want you to know that you have such a BRIGHT future ahead of you! You have so much to look forward to! I want to quote one of my favorite people that we look up to now, he's not like your heroes Kelly Osbourne or Freddie Mercury. (Although Freddie Mercury will always be one of your heroes!) Your new hero will be someone that you grew upseeing and hearing in church and on tv but never payed attention to. He is Jeffrey R. Holland, an apostle of Jesus Christ. He talks of the hope that life will ALWAYS have to offer us....

 

-There is help. There is happiness. There really is light at the end of the tunnel. It is the Light of the World, the Bright and Morning Star, the “light that is endless, that can never be darkened.” It is the very Son of God Himself. In loving praise far beyond Romeo’s reach, we say, “What light through yonder window breaks?” It is the return of hope, and Jesus is the Sun. To any who may be struggling to see that light and find that hope, I say: Hold on. Keep trying. God loves you. Things will improve. Christ comes to you in His “more excellent ministry” with a future of “better promises.” -

 

I promise that there is hope! There is so much happiness yet to be felt in your life. I'm only at the age of 26 and I can't even imagine what is to come for us! Haley, you are amazing. You are going to grow up into an amazing woman. You are going to grow up to do AMAZING things. So when times get hard, I want you to think of the rest of that quote by Elder Holland....

 

“Don’t give up... Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead—a lot of it... You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.”

 

 

Keep moving forward little lady.....

 

Disobedience = No Chuck E. Cheese

Lately I've been reading along in my scriptures studies and the one thing that keeps screaming at me is the importance of being obedient! I think Heavenly Father is trying to tell me something...

Do you want to know a little secret? Even though I look so sweet and so innocent, I was the most disobedient child. EVER.

I was so disobedient that when I would be sent to my room for being disobedient, I would climb out my window and play with the neighbor kids for the duration of my time-out period, I then would crawl back through my window and innocently ask my mom if I could come out of my room. I would never do my chores. I HATED doing chores. My mom would always bribe us with things if we were good little children and helped take care of the house. Bless my mom's heart. There is one day that I will never ever forget...

One glorious summer day when I was probably 9 or 10, my mom promised us a trip to Chuck E Cheese if we would do our chores. She gave my older sister a list of chores and me a list of chores. I don't remember exactly but, I assume I was asked to dust the TV stand, vacuum the family room and maybe clean the mirrors and sink in the bathroom. Easy stuff right? Didn't matter, I didn't do them. In my mind, I thought that my mom loved me and she would let me go to Chuck E. Cheese whether I had done my chores or not. I thought wrong! When it came time to leave, my sweet mother asked me if I had finished my chores and I mumbled no but was still heading to the door. She stopped me and disappointingly said, "I'm sorry but you're going to have to stay home today because you didn't do your chores." I immediately put on the water works hoping it would do the trick but she still said no. I chased her outside as all of my other siblings were climbing into our van. My mom got in the car, rolled the window down and told me to get in the house. I wasn't giving up just yet so I proceeded to get on top of the hood and I sat cross legged right in front of where my mom was sitting and threw a fit. My mom along with my siblings just laughed which made me more and more furious! My mom told me one more time to get in the house and that is when I finally realized that I wasn't going to win this one and I would have to go inside and suffer the excruciating consequence. That was a huge lesson about obedience for me.

I share this humiliating story to stress the importance of being obedient to the commandments that our Heavenly Father has so lovingly given us. I used to think that rules and commandments were given to us to control us but that could not be farther than the truth. In reality, God gives us guidelines and commandments because He loves us so much. He gives us these things to protect us and most importantly, to help us return to Him. Just like I thought I wouldn't get in trouble because my mom loved me, some people think the same of God. Yes, He loves us more than we will ever understand. At the same time He wants us to be the best we can be and His commandments help us be our best. My mom didn't let me go because she knew I would turn into a spoiled brat and that I would never learn to be accountable for my actions. It's equivalent to God. He doesn't want us to all be spoiled brats!

We find in the scriptures that "...no unclean thing can dwell with God." (1 Nehi 10:21) Because no unclean thing can dwell with our Father in Heaven, He has provided us with a way to know how we can remain clean and be worthy to live in His presence once again. He has done this through commandments as found in the Bible and also through His living day Prophets in our own day. We are promised so many blessings as we follow and keep the commandments of God. We read many of these blessings in the Bible...

"..and the fulfilling of commandments bringeth remission of sins." 3 Nephi 15:10

"Hear therefore, O Israel, and observe to do it; that it may be well with thee, and that ye may increase mightily, as the Lord God of thy fathers hath promised thee, in the land that floweth with milk and honey." Deuteronomy 6:3

Most of all, we feel the love of God and our Savior Jesus Christ as we choose to follow their ways, not the world's ways.

"If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love." John 15:10

Sometimes being disobedient causes us to miss out on a trip to Chuck E. Cheese but most of the time there are more serious consequences when we disobey Heavenly Father. I have spent a large portion of my life choosing to live by my own rules and own desires and in those times I have experienced a lot of heart ache and a disconnection to God. I now understand and appreciate that commandments are not given to me to control me or tell me what to do- they are given to me for my own true happiness and my own salvation. We are happier and closer to God when we are obedient to Him. I invite you to ponder in your hearts in what ways you can be more obedient to your Father who loves you. I promise that you will feel more of His love and you will feel closer to your eternal life with Him.

a new day...

There is an age old question that was asked by Job in the Bible. "If a man die, shall he live again?"

I think that every single person has had to ask themselves this question at some point in their lives. Whatever one chooses to believe, it's something that we naturally ponder when we know we will someday face death.

In a talk titled "Life is Eternal" from President Ezra Taft Benson, he states this so perfectly:

“What mortal being, responding to that mystical instinct that earthly dissolution is at hand, has not contemplated what lies beyond the grave?

“What mortal being, upon whom has descended that strange and serene resignation that life’s journey is about at an end, has not thought about that eternal destination and what might be there?"

Along with thinking about death as we approach old age, I think we also ponder death and what's next when we have someone near to us pass away. My dear family friend Brendon passed away last week at the age of 20 and it really made me stop and think about this matter. Brendon had his whole life ahead of him but, does that mean it ended if he left his mortal life? I testify to you that the answer is no. I know that Brendon is still living. 

What does it really mean to "pass away?" Where is Brendon right now? 

When someone passes from this life, their body stays here on earth. But what happens to their spirit? Their spirit enters into a place called the spirit world. The spirit world is a place of learning and preparation. Our memories from this life will follow us there. In the spirit world people either live in a state of happiness and rest or in a state of torment based upon the decisions that they made in this life and whether they chose to follow Jesus Christ and used His Atonement or not. Although death does not change your personality or desires, for those that never had the opportunity to learn of Christ and His gospel here on earth, will be given that opportunity in the spirit world. Heavenly Father has prepared a way for all of His children to learn of Him and choose to follow His Son Jesus Christ to return to their home with their Father. I know that Brendon is in the spirit world right now learning more about His Father's plan for him and that he is in a state of happiness and rest.

But then what? Let me give a brief explanation of this glorious part of God's plan...

Jesus Christ will one day return to this earth and after this takes place, we will all be resurrected. When Jesus Christ was crucified and died on the cross, His spirit went to the spirit world and His body rested in the tomb. Three days later He rose from the dead- His body and spirit were once again reunited. His body was in it's perfect form and was free from physical death ever again. Because He did this most wonderful thing, we all will have that same blessing. After death we will one day be reunited with our bodies and we will live forever. Immortality is a gift to all. How lucky are we?? We truly are loved. We then are judged by God according to our actions and the desires of our hearts. We then hopefully receive eternal life and live with our Father and families once again if we prove ourselves worthy of that blessing...but I'll explain more of that another time!

I want to testify that I know that Jesus Christ lives. I know that because He lives, all of those that have passed on live as well. The prophet Abinadi in the Book of Mormon so beautifully testifies of this in Mosiah 16...

"And if Christ had not risen from the dead, or have broken the bands of death that the grave should have no victory, and that death should have no sting, there could have been no resurrection.

But there is a resurrection, therefore the grave hath no victory, and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ."

The grave will have no victory over us. I know that there truly is life after death. Just like we will always have a new day here on this earth, I know that death is just another new day into the next part of our eternal lives. Death is not the end, it is the beginning. 

I know that Brendon still lives and I find comfort in knowing that his family will see him again. Although there is sorrow in losing a loved one, most of all, there is hope.

you were only waiting for this moment to arise...

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these sunken eyes and learn to see. All your life You were only waiting for this moment to be free.

Blackbird fly, blackbird fly Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird fly, blackbird fly Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life You were only waiting for this moment to arise You were only waiting for this moment to arise You were only waiting for this moment to arise."

Growing up, one of my favorite songs was "Blackbird" by the infamous Beatles. I loved the soft melody of the song and the imagery of learning to fly. It wasn't until a few years ago that the song was much more than that and I realized that I could completely relate to that little blackbird. The song now means so much more to me and it is an example of the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ in our lives.

Let me share my story of how I came to find this new meaning...

I was born and raised into a Christian home with a firm belief in Jesus Christ. Growing up we sang songs about Him in church and we learned about His life during Sunday School but I only ever had a shallow understanding of Him and His role for us. As a teenager I lost interest in church and by the time I was off at school and on my own it was never a priority or a desire and I lived my life the way that I wanted to. I lived my life in a way that I thought would bring me happiness.

Well, years later I finally came to the realization that nothing I was doing was bringing me real happiness. It wasn't until I was backed into a corner when I truly had a desire to look to God, rather than myself, for the things that I felt were missing. I found myself praying and going to church again and I felt like I had found the true path to happiness. I got to a point where I had to leave my old way of living behind and trust in my Heavenly Father and the teachings of Jesus Christ. Within this experience I had the scary but incredible opportunity to leave my past behind and change by turning to Jesus Christ and repenting. This is when I truly began to understand that Jesus Christ is more than this person that we read of in the scriptures. He is truly our Savior and Redeemer. 

"Take these broken wings and learn to fly..."

Through this experience I felt myself giving all of the broken pieces of my life and of myself over to Him, and with time He mended and fixed every last piece. With these things being fixed, I had the ability AND the desire to go and continue on my path to my Heavenly Father.

"Take these sunken eyes and learn to see..."

Before this piece of my life, I didn't really have anything to hope for. I was kind of just living day to day and never had a thought for tomorrow. Through Jesus Christ, my perspective of life was changed. I truly was looking at everything through new eyes. I was able to see past my trials and tribulations and see that God had much more planned for me. There is so much joy in this life and in the knowledge that we can return to live with our Father in Heaven.

"You were only waiting for this moment to arise."

Whether they realize it or not, I feel like everyone is seeking this in their lives. They are seeking to be fixed. They are seeking to change. They are seeking to be truly happy. Jesus Christ will always be the only and true way to finding all of these things. Because Jesus Christ suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane for each of us individually, He knows what we're going through and feeling. He knows how to comfort us and uplift us. (Alma 7:11-12 in the Book of Mormon) Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ we are cleansed from past transgressions and we are enabled to change and carry on through this mortal life with power. Coming to understand and truly feel this was something that I had been waiting my entire mortal life. It's something that I'm still learning to understand and feel more and more each day.

Christ knows the way out and the way up and if we truly give ourselves to Him, He will make us whole. I testify that the Atonement of Jesus Christ has the ability to change lives and to change hearts. I testify that we come to know who Jesus Christ is to us personally when we give ourselves to Him. When we finally grow tired of carrying our burdens and our struggles, there is one who will ALWAYS take them from us. He will always be there. He will always be our Savior, Jesus Christ.

So go on and give yourself to Him and start flying little blackbird.

Homeward Bound

Last week as my companion and I were leaving an appointment out in the country, it started to get really dark and there were a lot of windy roads so, naturally I turned the brights on. I immediately was like, "WHOA! I can see so much more now!" This is something so silly but I am always amazed how our vision and our sight increase in the dark once we turn those brights on. 

I relate this to how so many of us lose sight of our purpose and what the heck we're doing here on earth. Just like our vision increases as we turn on our brights at night, our eternal vision increases as we remember where we came from.  When we take time to think about who we really are and where we were before this life, we can more fully understand our purpose and our potential. 

Before we came here to this earth, we lived as spirits with our Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ. We grew and developed. Because Heavenly Father loves us so much, He created a plan for us to become more like Him and live up to our divine potential as His children. Part of that plan was us coming to earth to gain a body like Him and to obtain experiences and trials that would help us grow in character and in faith. We chose to follow this plan and chose to follow our Savior Jesus Christ before we came to earth.

There is a talk by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf that so beautifully explains our experience in our pre-earth life and what might have been going through our minds as we made the decision to come here.....

"We do not know many details about life in that premortal sphere, but we do know some. Our Heavenly Father has revealed to us who He is, who we are, and who we can become.

Back in that first estate, you knew with absolute certainty that God existed because you saw and heard Him. You knew Jesus Christ, who would become the Lamb of God. You had faith in Him. And you knew that your destiny was not to stay in the security of your premortal home. As much as you loved that eternal sphere, you knew you wanted and needed to embark on a journey. You would depart from the arms of your Father, pass through a veil of forgetfulness, receive a mortal body, and learn and experience things that hopefully would help you grow to become more like Father in Heaven and return to His presence.

In that sacred place, surrounded by those you knew and loved, the great question on your lips and in your heart must have been “Will I return safely to my heavenly home?”

There were so many things that would be out of your control. Mortal life would be hard at times, filled with unexpected bends in the road: sickness, heartbreak, accidents, conflict.

Without a memory of your previous existence—without remembering that you once walked with your Father in Heaven—would you still recognize His voice amid all the noise and distractions of mortal life?

The journey ahead seemed so long and uncertain—so filled with risk.

It wouldn’t be easy, but you knew it was worth every effort.

So, there you stood on the edge of eternity, looking forward with unspeakable excitement and hope—and, I imagine, also with a degree of worry and fear.

In the end, you knew God would be just—that His goodness would triumph...

And a great step forward …

And here you are!

You have, each one of you, embarked on your own wonderful journey back to your heavenly home!"

This image that President Uchtdorf painted so wonderfully helps us understand that this life is truly a journey, a journey back to our Heavenly Father.

There was a period in my life when I did not recognize God or have an understanding of who He is. That was not something of importance to me. I will never forget the part of my journey that led me back to that knowledge of where I came from. It gave my life a whole new meaning. Shortly after receiving this sweet testimony I was listening to Simon and Garfunkel when their song "Homeward Bound"scratched across the record player. I sat and pondered on the title of that song and I immediately had this overwhelming feeling that I was finally back on my path to my Heavenly Father. I was truly "Homeward Bound." 

I want to bear testimony of what President Uchtdorf shared above, Heavenly Father has truly revealed to us who He is, who we are and who we can become. My favorite part of the hymn More Holiness Give Me, are the words, "..more longing for home." I invite each of us to truly take time to remember where we came from and where we want to be- back with our Heavenly Father- and to truly feel more longing for our eternal home with Him.

 Life is full of windy roads like the ones here in the South. When we think about where those windy roads are taking us, that's when the brights turn on and we are better able to make it home safely.  May we all make the decisions and live in a way so that we can truly be "Homeward Bound."

Papa, can you hear me?

This past week I have been putting a lot of thought into who God really is. I think the most important thing we can recognize and come to know is that God is our loving Heavenly Father. Wait what? God is our Heavenly Father? Then that must mean that I am a child of God! Whoa. Let's go a bit further into this truth shall we?

I love how beautifully our former Prophet President Gordon B. Hinckley puts this profound truth:

"I believe without equivocation or reservation in God, the Eternal Father. He is my Father, the Father of my spirit, and the Father of the spirits of all men. He is the great Creator, the Ruler of the Universe. … In His image man was created. He is personal. He is real. He is individual. He has “a body of flesh and bones as tangible as man’s” (D&C 130:22).

In the account of the creation of the earth, “God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness” (Genesis 1:26).

Could any language be more explicit? Does it demean God, as some would have us believe, that man was created in His express image? Rather, it should stir within the heart of every man and woman a greater appreciation for himself or herself as a son or daughter of God. …"

This is something that is so important for us to remember every day- that we were created in the image of God. There have been many many times in my life where I get down on myself and I just feel so imperfect and so weak! Then the Spirit reminds me that I was created in the image of my Father in Heaven, which means that I have the potential to become like Him someday through His Son and my Savior Jesus Christ.

Another really important thing we understand when we know who God is to us personally is the importance of prayer and the blessing that it is! For some reason when I think about talking to my Heavenly Father I can't help thinking of Barbara Streisand in one of her movies singing "Papa, can you hear me?"  And in answer to her question in an eternal sense, yes Barbara, God hears you and your prayers!

Just like our earthly fathers here want to hear from us and know how we're doing, what's going on in our life, our questions and concerns, our Father in Heaven wants the same. Prayer is how we communicate with our Heavenly Father and tell Him the things of our hearts. Prayer is how we can gain a testimony that He is really there. I testify through my own personal experiences that Heavenly Father truly hears our prayers and answers them in His own time.

I have had experiences in my life of what life is like when we know that God is our Heavenly Father and when we lose sight of that. When we remember who God is and who WE are as well, life has purpose and more meaning. We have hope.